I realized something about this blog this weekend.
It doesn’t sound like me, because I am trying too hard to ensure that it doesn’t. And if it sounds forced sometimes, that’s probably because it is. I have been trying to imitate other people’s voices. And this is frustrating to me because it’s never going to work half as well as just using my own, right as it comes to me. This may not seem terribly important to anyone who is reading this, but it’s a pretty big problem.
I’m also feeling musically adrift again. It’s been happening more and more in the past few years. I still enjoy most of the same music that I used to, and most of my new discoveries are in the same vein, but I think the simple fact is that I don’t need music in the way I used to. I don’t need it to comfort me and embody my (mostly melancholy) feelings. The simple fact is I just don’t feel that melancholy anymore. The feeling has largely been replaced by some anxity, some momentary stabs of sadness, but I’ve grown out of the teen angst. I don’t see how this could be anything but good.
